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This is chillingly good.

Sarah Pinborough

Sometimes time folds in on itself. A picture, a word, a passing scent can trigger a visit to the graveyard of the past. This week, for me, those pictures and words are everywhere. Attached to them are so much advice. So much opinion. It makes me feel strange inside and I want to say, ‘You know what, just shhh. You’re not helping. You’re making her ground more unsteady’.

That thought in turn makes me wonder if all these years on a small part of me still doesn’t always know where to put my feet.

One night when I was 19, at maybe three in the morning, he wrote ‘I love you’ on an empty wine bottle and waited for me to notice it. And there it began. Boy kisses girl. I was wild and free and loved to laugh and dance and stay up all night. He was wild and…

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…for bringing me here.

The whole reason for our Berlin trip: about six months ago Depeche Mode announced a tour. Now I have always loved them, have seen them live many many times but not for about 15 years. So when MrB said ‘pick a city’ and I saw Berlin was on the tour, it was a done deal. I’ve always wanted to see Berlin, and the city AND the band were both everything they could have been.

Ridiculously expensive beer in Mode cups!!

And they played ‘Home’. All I could have asked for.

A modern version of a fifties tabletop jukebox. In a sixties themed diner. Staffed by twenty-somethings. In Berlin, a city both gobsmackingly modern and breathtakingly old.

And me. Still trying to teach this old dog new tricks.

Wanting to be something more than I am whilst not changing. Wanting to be heard whilst hiding. Wanting to be seen whilst invisible. Talking complete bollocks dressed up as quasi-intellect.

I don’t like change. Yet I’ve changed. Go figure.

Moving from Blogger. This is a test. Repeat, this is a test. Let’s see what happens.